Breathe

I just wrote and then deleted a post about how, even though last summer was full of amazing new experiences and trips to the Caribbean, and I have no vacation plans whatsoever for this summer, I'm still determined to see the bright side of things.... because I totally pissed myself off.

Because, damn it, I'm being positive.  And even though I don't have any vacation plans to speak of this summer, I have come in to work on my day off (and volunteered myself to do so, no less) and I have made at least one Bad Life Decision about boys in the past few months (and still sufficiently ashamed to discuss it here) things are good.

I'm making new friends, with the help of get-togethers like the #DCAmazeballsHH (described wonderfully by both fabulous Sara and the charming Ms. Raspberry).

I'm making a point to reconnect with friends that I haven't seen recently. Case in point: Drinks with Ali last night -- we hadn't seen each other in over 7 months, which we agreed is absurd.

I'm getting out of debt.

In the wake of a miserable winter ... I'm happy. 

And I'm also exhausted, so I'm going home now.

Two Quotes, No Waiting

As a chronic over-thinker, I suspect I might need to tattoo this on my forehead. 

Okay, or maybe just print out a few copies. That's more plausible.

Something else that I need to remind myself of. 

This is a borderline-depressing post, and 100% emo. So, my apologies. But I've had a frustrating week, during most of which I've felt overwhelmed, exhausted and sad. And for no particular reason that I could identify. Maybe it was the (relative) excitement of two work trips, followed by exhaustion and loads of mindless things to catch up on. Maybe it was the fact that the weather was decidedly un-May-like this week, and the cold and rain just got to me.  Or maybe the looming birthday and my lack of desire to celebrate it is depressing me. Or hey -- it could be all of these things!

Whatever the case: I'm moving forward now. It's Friday; it's sunny; my weekend is unplanned and therefore, I've decided, full of potential. 

Thank you for your patience while I have cleared my head of this garbage. Onward, upward, huzzah...!!!

A Verklempt Moment

I'm wishing it weren't just Tuesday, that I'd slept more last night, that it was sunny outside and that my checking account would magically be filled with a few million dollars. And a coworker just stopped by my cube and said:
"You mean so much to me, Jess. Your work is so important to me and I am so grateful to you. Thank you. I don't tell you that enough."


I'm not sure if I wanted to cry or smile, so I'm kind of doing a little of both.

You're a Mean One, Ms Grinch

Yesterday was a snow day -- DC was crippled by the "Blizzard of 2009", but  it was wonderful to have a three-day weekend. And the excuse to hibernate was greatly appreciated.

Back at work today, as one of four people in my department, I find myself pleasantly occupied... for the most part. I've said before that I'm the sort of person who would rather be busy than not, and that has certainly been the case today. Coworkers on holiday vacations (several in warmer climates, of which I am supremely jealous) means more work for me... and again, that's fine. Keep me busy, please!

But even as I'm working away, there's a nagging sense in the back of my head that I'm missing something. Okay, the obvious being holiday plans; my family will celebrate Hanukkah when we get together, and we'll go out for dinner (and maybe even a movie!) on Christmas. But it's hard not to think of the years that I've spent celebrating Christmas with others, in other places. Particularly last year, when I was in California for a whirlwind long weekend.... But whatever, that was last year.

And, while I'm on such an upbeat note, this nagging feeling includes the fact that I am likely overdue for a serious examination of friendships. I've been known to let people emotionally plow over me in the past, and to remain in unhealthy relationships with those who don't really have my best interests at heart.  It may not be the most wonderful time of the year to jettison a worn out friendship or two, but it may be something I have to consider for 2010.

But enough about this emotional work that I have ahead of me. Right now, contemplation does no more than add to my Grinch-y attitude. No time to get emotional! I've got work to do, people. Making a difference in people's lives, et cetera.